Confessions of an Imperfect Rebelutionary

Psalm 23

2011-06-06T10:39:00.006-05:00

In elementary school, I was very fortunate to join several of my friends for "Release Time" on Wednesday mornings. Release Time was a designated hour every week that allowed for kids to be released from school for "religious" activities. (I very rarely use that word without quotations...more on that later.) It was during this hour that several kids in my group learned to memorize Psalm 23. We had these cool orange pocket Bibles that we read from and to this day, I still have the Psalm memorized (complete with all of the thy's and thou's found in the KJV.)

I recently stumbled across the Psalm again in my Bible reading and was struck by the phrase, "your rod and your staff, they comfort me." This had always bothered me, even in 5th grade when it was "thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." Growing up, "the rod" was a method of discipline I had come to dread. Why, then, did David find comfort in it?

That is when I was reminded of an older post and what Christ has been showing me in regards to his discipline. Hebrews 12 so beautifully illustrates some powerful truths.

"God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness." (vs. 10)

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. " (vs. 11)

Discipline produces holiness, righteousness, and peace. Not only that, but it validates our relationship with God. (Because, "If you are not disciplined, then you are illegitimate children and not true sons." vs. 8) This is why both David and the writer of Hebrews urge us to take comfort in the rod of God's discipline. It is why the Bible repeatedly tells us to rejoice in suffering and persecution. It means that the Spirit is at work in us in order that Christ might become greater and we might become less. (John 3:30.)

Because of these truths, we should count ourselves both blessed and priviledged to be disciplined by Christ. It ultimately produces fruit in us and glorifies the only one to whom glory is due. We are drawn closer to Jesus as a result, and we can take comfort in His rod because it leads us to take comfort in him.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Christianity and the American Dream

2011-05-29T18:30:00.004-05:00

When the Pharisees first began to plot against Jesus, they revealed an interesting characteristic seen in many American "Christians" today. This was recently brought to my attention as my pastor preached on John 11.

Starting in verse 45 it reads, "Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him. But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. Then the chief priests and the Pharisees called a meeting of the Sanhedrin. 'What are we accomplishing?' they asked. 'Here is this man performing many miraculous signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.' Then one of them, named Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, spoke up, 'You know nothing at all! You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish." (John 11:45-49)

The Pharisees saw Jesus as a threat to their position and power in society. They were afraid his influence would continue to draw people until the Romans saw him as a force to be stopped. They reasoned that the entire Jewish nation would be punished as a result of this one man. Enter High Priest Caiaphas with a simple (heroic) plan. Just kill the rabble rouser! Country Saved. Problem Solved.

Jesus is so often parallelled with sacrifice. His death on the cross was the ultimate sacrifice. The story in John 11 shows that the Jewish leaders were willing to have Jesus sacrificed, but it was for their own gain. They believed he must die so they could keep their power and prestige. Their purpose was entirely earthly in nature, and neither their goal nor their means were just.

The scary thing is that these guys were religious. They knew all the laws, and yet they didn't know God himself. They followed all the rules, but they were still enemies of Him. In the end, they saw Jesus as a sacrifice that would preserve their earthly goals, and they were willing to allow an innocent man to suffer injustly for their personal glorification.

The truth is that Jesus did not die so we could follow our own agendas...he died so we could have himself. He did not suffer the wrath of the Father so that we could reach our goals, and he didn't die to save us from temporary afflictions. He died to save us from eternal punishment in hell.

If we are to truly accept his sacrifice for us, it means we must also accept his purposes for our lives. This is something many American "Christians" struggle to accept. The American Dream and the whole of our society says that life should be about YOU...your happiness, your purposes, your comfort, yourself. Jesus' kingdom says otherwise. He says that if you are going to follow him, you need to lose yourself. (Luke 9:24) Jesus did not sacrifice himself so we could go on living as we please. He did not die so that we could make him an add-on while we "do our own thing." He gave up his life willingly so that we could give up ours. The Christian life is a dying life. It means dying every day and sacrificing ourselves not because we have to earn God's pleasure, but because we already have his pleasure.

If we really understood what happened to us when Jesus died and rose again, and if we really knew him and trusted his Word, we would see that the pursuit of our agendas is really missing out on true fellowship with Jesus. It doesn't make sense in light of eternity...it makes sense in light of the rest of America. Shouldn't we be concerned?

Peace

2011-05-26T08:50:00.003-05:00

Lately I've been dwelling on thoughts about God's peace. From a personal standpoint, it is something I have been struggling with as of late, and I'd love to share some of those thoughts with you.

First and foremost, true peace comes from Christ alone. Isaiah 26:12 says "Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us." Peace is not something we bring about as a result of our own actions (no matter how righteous they are.) Peace is established by God, and any good we have done is because of his grace.

Secondly, peace is a result of the spirit at work in us. Everyone loves to recite Galations 5:22..."But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Peace is a fruit of the spirit. This leads into my next point.

Peace stems from a mindset, not an emotion. This means that it is something I may have to work at from time to time. Now, to be clear, this does not mean that God's peace is the result of man's effort. This is far from the truth, as we already know that true peace is found in Jesus and no one else. What I mean to say here is that peace, like all the other fruit of the spirit, is not just some feeling that we get. It is worked out over time as we embrace the truth, say 'no' to our flesh, and pursue godliness. All of this is done through Christ alone.

I think this is the toughest one for me. It is so much easier to think that peace is an emotion that just settles on us when the time is right. If this were the case, it would allow us to sit back, relax, and indulge in spiritual laziness. Praise be to God, he has much better plans for us! He knows that our emotions are fragile. That is why I thank him for verses like 1 John 3:10, which says that "God is greater than our hearts." In a similar manner, his peace is greater than our hearts because it is not at the mercy of our emotions.

Peace is the result of a heart at rest. This is where that mindset comes in. Our hearts are put to rest when we know the truth and cling to God's promises. When things go south, I am so quick to forget all that God has promised me (as if his Word isn't enough to remind me day in and day out.) Worse yet, I let my problems cloud my view of who God is and I forget about his very nature. In the words of Mark Altrogge, God isn't good only when I prosper, and he isn't true only when I'm filled up. He is not king only when I am carefree, or God only when I am well. He is good when I am poor and needy. He is true when I'm parched and dry. He still reigns in the deepest valley, and he is still God in the darkest night. This mindset requires the core of our relationship with Christ...faith.

Peace comes from faith in the Prince of Peace. It is found when we understand who we are in light of who God is and all that he's done for us. When we look to the cross and truly understand even a fraction of what Jesus has done for us, we can take comfort in our identity in him. This is huge! Our identity in Christ is what frees us to "set our minds on things above" rather than our circumstances below. As a result, we find hope and lasting peace.

Peace is for God's glory...not ours. We reap the benefits of his grace, but ultimately, it is all for him. The goal of this is that others may see the fruit of our salvation and praise him.

Whatever you face today, don't be afraid to wrestle with God's peace. Cry out to Jehovah Shalom and ask him to quiet your restless heart. Take comfort in the knowledge his Word supplies and "pursue peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Timothy 2:22.)

"Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed." (Isaiah 49:23b)

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace." (Colossians 3:15)

A Thought for the Day

2011-05-17T15:15:00.008-05:00

There is an older song called "God-Shaped Hole" (sung by the artist Plumb) that I've been thinking about lately. The chorus goes something like, "There's a God-shaped hole in all of us and the restless soul is searching; there's a God-shaped hole in all of us and it's a void only He can fill."

The concept expressed in this song led me to pray for my unsaved friends in such a way that the "God-shaped" holes in their hearts would be filled by him. It wasn't until recently that I began to see how I have been slightly off in my thinking.

God doesn't long to fill a hole in us. He wants to fill all of us.

Saying that there is a God-shaped hole within us implies that the rest of us can be filled and satisfied except for that one hole. The fact of the matter is that nothing else can bring lasting satisfaction. Ever. God is not simply another piece of the puzzle or factor in the equation. He is to be our everything. Our hearts are not meant to be shared with any other person or thing. Christ is to be our heart.

This is where many people fall short in their faith. They try to make Jesus an add-on while keeping the rest of their lives for themselves. Rather than surrendering their hearts to him, they try to force him into a tiny mold when he is meant to consume every part of their being. Oh, what marvelous freedom we miss out on when we try to withold ourselves from him!

Deuteronomy 4:24 says, "For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." May we never forget that we serve a God who is jealous for our love, our time, our worship, and everything that we are.

(As a disclaimer, this post was not meant to criticize Plumb's song by any means! I believe her lyrics were intended to communicate this all important truth and my intent was only to verbalize the dangers of using her song as an excuse to think differently.)

Late Bloomers

2011-05-06T14:13:00.011-05:00

I've always been what many would call a "late bloomer." I didn't get to be a flower girl until I was almost almost old enough to be a bridesmaid. My dream of spending hot summers playing games with throngs of neighbor kids didn't come true until I was well into my teenage years. I've always looked upon these kinds of experiences with a hint of amusement. It wasn't until I read the story of Elizabeth in the book of Luke that I came to see that God has a special place in his heart for late bloomers like me.

We hear the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth every time Christmas rolls around. He was a priest; she was his wife. They had no children for many many years...and then along came John. I don't know about you, but sometimes after hearing a certain story told the same way at the same time each year, I find myself skimming over it in my own private reading. Thankfully, God kept me from doing that this time around.

Luke 1:5 sets the scene, "In the time of Herod King of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commandments and regulations blamelessly. But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well along in years."

You get the picture. One couple. Too old. No children. Oh how God loves to do the impossible!

"Once when Zecharaiah's division was on duty and he was serving as priest before God, he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to go into the temple of the Lord and burn incense...There an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar...the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth for he will be great in the sight of the Lord." (Luke 1:8-9, 11, 13-14)

I'd like to point out a few things here. First, you may already know that having lots of children was a huge component of Elizabeth's culture at the time. It was part of a woman's identity, and to not have kids was a terrible thing...so terrible that many people thought it could be some kind of punishment for sin. The affect that this had on Elizabeth would be significantly greater than if she were living at the present time. Having children would have been one of her greatest desires. It seems almost unfair that God would deny of her of that wish. It is hard to reconcile the pain she felt with the love of a God who could grant her children in an instant. After all, her desire doesn't appear to be outright sinful.

Let us not forget that God loves saving the day. He had events perfectly orchestrated before Elizabeth was even born. She got her baby...just several years and miracle later. This resulted in God getting more glory--not anybody else.

Now I would like to shift gears to what appears to be a totally unrelated story. John 11 tells of how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. A couple of lines in this passage just kill me because I think they are so powerful.

In John 11:32, it says, "When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said,' Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.'" How many times have we said the same thing? If you erase a few of the words in that statement and replace them with your own, you get something to the affect of, "Lord, if you had been here--if you had acted--this death/loss/pain wouldn't have happened." Jesus hears Mary's statement and is "deeply moved in spirit and troubled." (vs. 33.) Make no mistake, Jesus does feel our pain in these circumstances! He felt Elizabeth's pain when she suffered for not having any children, and he feels yours too.

The amazing thing is that this pain is not without purpose. A few verses later, right before Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead, he says, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" and turning to the Father, he continues later on, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." Right after that, he proves that God has indeed heard him by raising Lazarus from the dead.

The whole point I want to make here is that it was for God's greater glory that Lazarus had died. To be sure, Jesus could have healed him while he was still living, but he didn't. God could have given Elizabeth children while she was still young, but he didn't. Instead, he orchestrated events so that when everything was said and done, the only explanation could be the work of himself.

Oftentimes, this involves waiting and great faith on our part. Did you notice that in the story of Elizabeth and Zechariah, the angel spoke the words, "Your prayer has been heard"? We don't know if that prayer was spoken years before Zechariah entered the temple that day or if he was still praying it up until that moment. Whatever the case, Zechariah's faith in God prompted him to pray for a child. Likewise, Martha was the one who declared, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world." (John 11:27) In both of these examples, faith was present. Then came the waiting.

You may be experience a time of waiting right now. Maybe you are feeling a little bit like Elizabeth, with a whole list of desires that haven't been fulfilled. Maybe you are drowning in the aftermath of a tragedy like Mary and Martha. You think, "If only God would have acted, this wouldn't have happened." The thing to remember is that it is not an issue of why, but when.

Psalm 34:18 says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." God is not slow in keeping his promises. When he says he'll save us, he will. It just becomes a matter of his perfect, impeccable timing and how he--not you, not anybody else--will get the greater glory in the end. You may appear to be a "late bloomer", but in God's eyes, you'll be right where you should be.

Mercies in Disguise

2011-04-27T15:55:00.005-05:00

I love stealing.

Let me rephrase that...I love stealing certain expressions from other people. I follow the music artist Lecrae on Facebook, and nearly all of his statuses become mine. They are so full of wisdom and insight, and I love stealing those tidbits to share with others.

Laura Story has a great new song out, and I'd love to steal yet again to share some of her lyrics with you. The song is called "Blessings" and I find it so powerful and compelling in light of all that has happened recently in my life and the lives of those around me. You can check out the full song (with lyrics) here.

The whole of the song is basically summed up in a question: What if the hardships of this life are God's mercies in disguise? The chorus reads:

Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

Can you relate?

Earlier in the song is the line Your love is way too much to give us lesser things. This is so profound. I've never thought of trials as the result of Jesus loving me enough to allow nothing less. It is so utterly backward to the American way of thinking.

When we look at Scripture, however, this is precisely the truth. Hebrews 12:5-6 reads, "And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: 'My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.'"

Christ's grace is so great that he doesn't want to short-change us out of the magnificent growth trials bring. It is all a part of the crazy love he gives us day in and day out.

"Well ok," you say, "I get that part, but how can these trials be a result of his mercy?"

From a personal standpoint, I never seem to understand the value of trials until I realize that I am a totally changed person as a result of them. My greatest periods of spiritual growth have resulted from the worst circumstances in my life. I know that if I were left alone to control my own little world as I please, I would be an utter mess. If I got my way all the time, I'd be as far away from Jesus as possible.

I am reminded of Philippians 3:19-21, which says, "Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables himto bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

If the only thing I'm concerned about is feeding my desires, getting my way, and controlling my life the way I want, I'm doomed. That's an earthly focus. Trials have a way of capturing our focus and training it upon the only person on whom it is due: Christ alone.

The second part of that passage references transformation. When we surrender our agendas and selfish desires and give all our attention to Jesus, we finally come to a place where he can transform us. This is how Christ demonstrates his mercy. Rather than allowing us to wallow in our selfishness and earthly desires, he sends trials to transform us and draw us closer to him.

This leads to another startling realization. Our so-called disappointments may not be disappointments after all. When trials are viewed as instruments of God's mercy, our disappointments become mere extensions of that. Not getting our way might be the biggest blessing we'll ever experience.

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?

Trials continually bring us back to the place where we realize that Christ is all we need. Nothing in this world can possibly compare with all that he is.

Don't ever forget to listen for God's voice in the rain...his calm, reassuring, "I love you."

Extreme

2011-04-13T18:18:00.006-05:00

"But though I was initially disappointed at being categorized as an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a measure of satisfaction from the label. Was not Jesus an extremist for love: 'Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.' Was not Amos an extremist for justice: 'Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever flowing stream.' Was not Paul an extremist for the Christian gospel: 'I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.'...So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or the extension of justice? In the dramatic scene on Calvary's hill three men were crucified. We must never forget that all three were crucified for the same crime--the crime of extremism. Two were extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their enviornment. The other, Jesus Christ, was an extremist for love, truth, and goodness, and thereby rose above his enviornment. Perhaps the South, the nation, and the world are in dire need of creative extremists."

That's Martin Luther King Jr. in his Letter from Birmingham Jail. This piece was recently brought to my attention in English class as a reading assignment, and I must confess that it has become one of the very few reading assignments that I have gone back to read again. King's arguments in the letter are full of Biblical insight and knowledge of the gospel. The primary focus of his writing is the Civil Rights movement, but he also touches on a variety of other topics such as justice, the laxity of church, and the application of laws.

The quote above didn't catch my attention until the third time around, which I find hard to believe since it is so compelling. I love how King states that we are all extremists, and how he then points to Jesus as the ultimate example. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus demonstrated the greatest amount of love possible in sacrificing his life for us. That is extreme. As followers of Christ, we are called to tread in his footsteps. He laid the foundations of an entire kingdom with extreme love. We are called to live out that kingdom in the same way.

I recently read about Thomas Cranmer, a Christian martyr who died in 1556. I find his story fitting because I believe it is an example of the extreme love Christ calls us to. Prior to his death, Cranmer recanted of his Protestant beliefs, only to regret it and return to the faith later on. He was eventually sentenced to be burned at stake, and at the very end he declared, "I have sinned, in that I signed with my hand what I did not believe with my heart. When the flames are lit, this hand shall be the first to burn." With those words, he stuck his hand into the flames until it was burned to a stump before he surrendered the rest of his body to the flames. People would call such a display 'extreme.' Would your love for Jesus lead you to do the same?

So many times, I read these stories about people who have been killed for their faith and think that they were called to a different lifestyle than I am. We do this all the time in the church when we encounter 'extreme' faith. (We make excuses, too, like "I can't go to Africa...God has simply called her to go." or "I'm not qualified to head to the inner city...God has called others to do that.") The reality is this: God calls all of us to live the same lifestyle as Cranmer. In Matthew 16:25, Jesus says, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." He calls all of us to give up our lives for him. Whether or not we surrender our physical lives on earth for His name is a different story...the point is that Jesus calls us to live extreme either way.

"You may never have to face the decision of whether or not to die for your faith, but every day you face the decision of whether or not you will live for it." (Jesus Freaks, by dcTalk.) Remember, according to King, the question is not whether you will be an extremist, but what kind of extremist you will be. Christ said "He who is not with me is against me." (Luke 11:23) We can come up with excuses our whole lives about how we aren't living the wrong extreme, but do our lifestyles show proof that we are living the right one?

The picture at the top of this post is of a cross in Broad St., Oxford, and it marks the spot where two of Cranmer's friends were burned at stake a few months prior to his own death in the same general location. For more on Cranmer's story, click here.

Abundant Life

2011-04-08T21:42:00.006-05:00

In leu of this blog's title, I have a confession to make. I am the champion of starting projects and never finishing them. Journaling has never been a strength of mine, despite all my good intentions to be a faithful writer. I think I can now add blogging to the list. My last post was over a year ago...awesome.

Since it would be next to impossible to cover all the wonderful things God has revealed to me in the past 15 months, I will not attempt to. However, because 2010 was the most transformational year of my life to date, I feel like it would be foolish to not write about some of the lessons I have learned.

John 10:10 says"The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full." This verse jumped out at me in the midst of a particularly dark time period last year, and I have clung to the hope it offers ever since. After reading it, I came to a rather stunning conclusion. Jesus is not against me.

I don't know why, or for how long, I subconciously believed this lie, but John 10:10 brought me face to face with the consequences of my twisted thinking.

Now, to others, this conclusion may not be as earth-shattering as it was for me. You see, I am a people pleaser, and this forces me to feel like I must prove myself to others time and again. This has further lead me to a place where I feel like people are against me. It's a hard concept to wrap your head around if you're not a people pleaser yourself. Because this has dominated the way I do relationships for as far back as I can remember, it has also become a huge factor in the way I relate to my Heavenly Father. It has encouraged me slip into an unbiblical mindset that says I must prove myself to God, and therefore he is against me.

But He isn't. That's Satan we're talking about.

According to that verse in John, Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. People pleasing steals, kills, and destroys. It steals your hope, kills your joy, and destroys your identity in Christ. Jesus has come to bring life...abundant life. He isn't against me.

I cannot accurately describe what a liberating feeling that has been for me. In the midst of much pain this past year, Jesus has revealed that abundant life to me. It has never been sweeter.

God is good. All the time. Don't ever forget it.

Ellie V.

Jesus Preached to CONFUSE People?

2010-01-06T16:15:00.006-06:00

Not too long ago I watched a DVD segment of Francis Chan speaking at a Youth Specialties Conference in 2008. The topic of study was the current state of U.S. churches and his message totally blew me away. In the past two months or so, God had been pushing me to have a bigger heart for the church (his people) and to get a better handle on my part in it. At one point during the message, Chan touched on the ministry of Jesus and the way he preached. He brought up a passage in Matthew 13 where Jesus makes a statement following his Parable of the Four Soils. What he says there has always confused me. Check it out for yourself:

"To those who are open to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But to those who are not listening, even what they have will be taken away from them. That is why I tell these stories, because people see what I do, but they don't really see. They hear what I say, but they don't really hear, and they don't understand. It fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah, which says: 'You will hear my words, but you will not understand, you will see what i do, but you will not perceive its meaning. For the hearts of these people are hardened and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eys--so their eyes cannot see and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to me and let me heal them.' " (Matthew 13:12-15, NLT)

Jesus issued the statement above after his disciples came and asked him, "Why do you always tell stories when you talk to people?" His response? "So they won't get it!" Jesus confused people on purpose! He knew that there were some in the crowd who came only for the show. All the miracles...him feeding thousands, healing the blind and lame...that was all pretty attractive. But Jesus knew that those same people would desert him when push came to shove. He himself declared, "Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but I, the Son of Man, have no home of my own, not even a place to lay my head." (Luke 9:58, NLT) He preached so that they would hear, but not really hear, and so that they would see but not really see. They'd get their show, but he wasn't going to waste time on them otherwise.

Today, American churches are full of individuals who are there for the same thing. They like the contemporary worship bands, coffee shops, and big monitors. They see and they hear, but their hearts don't understand. How are we to respond to these people? This is something I'm still wrestling with. Surely we are called to try and spur these people on toward love and good deeds, but what happens if they don't respond? How much more "spurring" can we afford to do?

Revelation 3:15-16 says, "I know the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, I will spit you out of my mouth!" At what point do we simply say, "Lord, I've been obedient. Now I leave the matter in your hands"?

Cue Ram in Thicket

2010-01-05T16:20:00.005-06:00

"Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide." Genesis 22:13-14

I love the story of Abraham. Just when I think it's going to get old, it never ceases to amaze me.

Recently I finished reading When I Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Kent. It's a very eye-opening read, especially given this woman's powerful story. In October of 1999, Carol's son--a U.S. Naval Officer--was arrested for murdering his wife's ex-husband. Jason was a Christian man full of integrity, so the news was obviously both shocking and devastating. Immediately, Carol was overwhelmed with a flood of emotions and legal complications that were hard to comprehend. However, thanks to the God she served, her and her husband emerged from the ordeal changed for the better. While her story didn't turn out the way she had hoped, she experienced the power of relinquishment in a profound way and now shares it with others.

One concept that struck me while reading this book had to do with Carol's spin on the ram in the thicket mentioned above. In the Biblical account, Abraham traveled 3 days to a spot God had chosen for him to sacrifice his one, only, and promised son Isaac. He faithfully laid down the wood, tied up his precious child, and raised the knife to kill him...until an angel of the Lord called out for him to stop. Just like in the movies, Abraham looked up and there in a bush was God's provision.

Carol waited for her ram in the thicket. She prayed for her son to be released. She waited. And wept. And prayed some more. It didn't come.

I think that at some point in our lives, we will all reach the point where that ram needs to show up. We wait and we pray and we cry, "God...any day now!" But does it always come? In Carol's case, it didn't...at least, not in an obvious way. God still provided but he chose not to answer her specific plea. Instead he brought her to the place where she could fully "lay her Isaac down" and be completely dependant on him.

The Bible talks again and again about the great faith Abraham possessed. People point to his extreme obedience as an indicator of how he trusted God to keep his promise even if that meant taking away his only hope. It's certainly painful (just ask Carol) but we can do the same. We serve a Lord who delights in bringing us to the point where he can use all of us. Many times that means breaking us until there doesn't seem to be anything left to surrender. Almost every time it requires patience.

Right now I find myself in a place where God has truly called me to wait. Being the organized person I like to think I am, this does not come easily for me. 2009 was the weirdest year of my life. Things have changed so much, but God is still so good! Many times I envision my own personal ram coming in and getting everything back to "normal." But now I'm seeing that maybe that's not God's plan. Maybe he's trying to teach me to be stretched and simply trust like Abraham did. Things probably won't ever get back to the way they were, and Jesus is teaching me to be okay with that. I'll have to learn to live in a new normal. However, I will not love God any less, and in the words of John Waller: "I'll be running the race, even while I wait."

Bored?? Read This

2010-01-04T17:44:00.002-06:00

Happy New Year Everyone!
Check out this link to an article on Plugged In Online (http://www.pluggedin.com/upfront/2010/itsgoodtobebored.aspx). I hope to write more on this topic in the near future.

Stranger in a Strange Land?

2009-11-25T22:37:00.009-06:00

"So the area was 875 feet on each side with a wall around it to separate the holy place from the common." ~Ezekiel 42:20

This verse is referring to Ezekiel's vision about the new temple area, but it got me thinking (as scary as that may seem)...

I am holy. I am a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9). What separates me from the "common?" God's grace obviously does (and without it, I am nothing), but what in my life visibly shows that I am set apart? Is there a barrier or wall of character or love or humility that makes me different?

Interestingly enough, in my Bible reading plan I also came across the book of 1 Peter, where it opens with the words, "This letter is from Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ. I am writing to God's people who are living as foreigners in the lands of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, the province of Asia, and Bithynia. God the Father chose you long ago, and the Spirit has made you holy. As a result you have obeyed Jesus Christ and are cleansed by his blood." (1 Peter 1:1-2, emphasis added.)

1 Peter uses alot of terminology in referring to believers as foreigners, so does Hebrews chapter 11.

"All those people [those in the "Hall of Faith"] were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had oppurtunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore, God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." (Hebrews 11:13-16)

This is a pretty popular theme, then. To help me get a better handle on this subject, I tried to put together a list of what makes a foreigner...well, foreign! Here are some of the things I came up with:

~Foreigners are visibly different from "commoners." Their appearance itself isn't the same. They often have different skin tones, facial features, or wardrobes. As Christians, we as foreigners won't always have different colored skin or prominent characteristics. However, our clothing can be remarkably changed. Christian women can dress modestly, and believers as a whole can clothe themselves with dignity and promote images that reflect Christ.

~Foreigners speak differently, whether they have an accent or an entirely different language. Christians should speak their own language too. Our speech should be "gracious" and "seasoned with salt" (Colossians 4:6). The Bible says that "out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." If our hearts are different and truly changed, we should sound like it.

~Thirdly, foreigners live differently because they dwell in a separate culture. So should Christians. We are not to live by the culture of this world. Instead we are to lead upright and godly lives, like those described prior to the Hebrews 11 reference above.

The world's culture speaks of self. We are not to conform to this earth...there are better things in store for us! We need to "long for a better country--a heavenly one" and admit that we are aliens and strangers on this earth. Our personal culture should speak of sacrificial love, compassion, mercy, selflessness, and peace.

Different cultures demand different mindsets. A Christian's cultural mindset should be focused outward and upward. It should zoom in on the unseen and the eternal. What is seen is temporary. We are called to invest our time in what will really last...the work of the Kingdom.

I'm sad to confess that I spend more time worrying about how to fit in, rather than how to stand out. Romans 12:2--a rather popular verse--offers some hope for me, however. It says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." More and more I'm witnessing the power God's Word has to transform. I'm confident that as I continually read it and become more holy, he will build that wall of separation. His son Jesus laid the foundation, and now through His faithfulness, it will only become stronger.

I don't want to miss out on the blessings Hebrews 11 speaks of! I don't want God to be ashamed to be called my God.

The Clay (Jeremiah 18:1-6),
Ellie V.

Pride is Like Coffee...

2009-11-23T16:13:00.009-06:00

It stunts your growth. Now, that old myth may not be altogether true. If you Google it, you'll find that there is very little evidence to support it. However, for the sake of this post, we'll pretend that it's Scientific Law.

I was reading in one of my favorite New Testament books this morning, and a couple verses really stuck out to me. Here they are in the New Living Translation:

"...As Scriptures say:

'God opposes the proud
but favors the humble.'

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor."
(James 4:6-10)

In addition to this passage I checked out Obadiah 1:3, which uses the phrase "the pride of your heart has deceived you." I got to thinking...how does pride deceive us? I believe it trips us up in a number of ways.

1.) It quietly takes the focus off God. This is rather obvious point because pride is selfish. However, I rarely find myself in the middle of an arrogant moment thinking, "Man, I'm totally focusing on myself right now." Pride is so tricky in that way.

It is my prayer that I can be like the apostle Paul in his resolve to know nothing but Christ and him crucified. (See 1 Corinthians 2:2.) The word 'know' used in this sense refers to Paul making Christ his only boast. Pride ever so sneakily takes our eyes off Christ and puts them on ourselves, making Christ less than our only boast.

2.) It convinces us that we really do have reason to boast. I was confronted with a rather simple question while thinking on this. "What do I have to be proud about?" I started trying to list all the bullet points in my head, but failed to come up with anything worth bragging about in the eyes of God. However, isn't it strange how easily we can be trapped into thinking that we do?

So often I must remind myself that I a deserve nothing. Actually, that is not altogether true...I deserve something, and that something is hell. By the grace of God I am who I am. Even if I were capable of living my life perfectly from now on, I would still have nothing to boast about.

3.) It is easily disguised. Have you ever heard of the phrase "self-esteem?" Or what about "positive self-image?" Pride so readily hides behind these things. By using certain terms just so, we can justify our sinful behavior.

[And on a complete side note, we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27.) With that truth in mind, low self-image should not have a foothold in our lives. The world is loud and full of lies about our appearance and worth. It has never been more important to distinguish what is false from what is true, and to realize who the author of lies is, and how he pales in comparision to the mighty Truth we serve. (John 8:44, "He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.")]

4.) It ties us to this world. Pride is not of God, and it never will be.

1 John 2:16, "For everything in the world--the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes, and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father but from the world."

Satan is the prince of this world, so in a way, one could say that pride comes from him. It makes sense then, why the James passage would read, "Resist the devil and he will flee from you."

And that brings me to my final question. How can I extinguish pride in my life so my relationship with God is not hindered? If I refer back to the James passage once more, humility is clearly emphasized. With humility comes God's blessing, (as seen in the Beattitudes in Matthew 5: 'Blessed are the poor in spirit...'). Another verse I just recently discovered is Psalm 138:6, 'Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar." This verse also paints a clear picture of how pride affects our relationship with God and stunts our spiritual growth.

Secondly, resisting the devil (and his lies about pride) is very key. One way to resist the devil is simply to draw nearer to God, whether that be through prayer, Bible reading, fellowship with other believers, or simply quiet time with Him.

And finally, an attitude of mourning over pride will magnify its sinfulness and decrease its attractiveness. Note the words in verse 9: sorrow, deep grief, sadness, and gloom. Those who mourn are also listed as blessed in Matthew 5, "for they shall be comforted." God honors brokeness and humility. When we mourn over our sins and the sins of others, we are truly showing our desire to live set apart.

To God Be the Glory,
Ellie V.

The Key

2009-09-07T13:16:00.006-05:00

The darkness had come and gone, and now morning slowly crept up over the horizon. It crawled across plains and valleys; villages and farms...past shutters and into homes, joyously announcing that the night had gone. A new day had dawned.
The light filtered in through a lone girl's bedroom where she lay stricken upon the floor. Her blonde ringlets cascaded across her white lace nightgown, falling delicately over her shoulder as if to catch the sun's rays. Faint traces of teardrops could be seen on her pale cheeks. Her once brilliant, dazzling blue eyes had faded to a lifeless gray. In her hands she cradled a porcelain heart. It was broken in pieces, and shards of it lay scattered across the floor. The girl's shoulders heaved a sob as her eyes filled with tears.
"How long?" she choked, "How long, Oh Lord, must this ache fill my heart? I wish to be free of it and yet here I am."
Wind rustled through the trees outside her window and a chill settled over the desolate room. With it came a calming voice, "Why did you give away what was not yours to keep?"
The question was a quiet challenge, yet it was filled with only good intention.
"What do you mean?" the girl asked, raising her ashen face to the light, where the question had seemingly come.
There was a brief pause, and then two words: "Your heart," was the reply.
The girl's eyes traveled from the heart in her hands to the shattered ruin on the floor. Realization struck her with shame, "Oh Jesus," she cried in agony, "Forgive me!"
As she fell to her knees, the pieces of her porcelain heart slipped out of her hands and crashed to the floor. The tears came flowing freely as she sobbed with her face to the ground. Her entire frame shook under the weight of what she'd done.
How could I? she asked herself, After all he's done...the love he's lavished on me? How could I turn and give my heart away to someone else?
When she finally lifted her face minutes later, it was pallid and somnolent. Raising her gaze back to the sun, she gasped as she saw where the light had fallen. Her porcelain heart lay fixed in front of her, basking in a pool of bright warmth with all its pieces set back in place. A few cracks graced the otherwise smooth surface, and as she leaned closer she noticed something else. At the top of the heart was a tiny keyhole...a sort of golden lock. Next to it a small gold key lay upon the floor, gleaming brightly.
"What is this Lord?" she stammered, incapable of saying anything else.
"Your heart, dear one. I have mended it."
She picked it up ever so gently and held it to the light to examine his work.
"The cracks," she wondered silently, fingering their jagged paths across the heart's glassy facade.
"To remind you of your past, so that you may choose wiser in the future," the voice replied.
"And...the key?" she asked.
"That is the key to your heart, daughter. You are free to do with it as you please."
"Can I give it away?"
"To anyone you so wish," the warm voice spoke again.
"To anyone I so wish..." the girl repeated, and then her face grew somber when she remembered his earlier words, "But it is not mine to keep!"
"You're right, my love," her father replied, "That is why I can keep it for you; and then only I can give it away to the right man when the time comes."
The girl reached for the key and her hand trembled as she picked it up. She turned it over in her palm for a brief moment and then slowly got to her feet. She gathered her skirts as she rose, raking a deep breath.
"I have made my choice, Father," she said, her tone quivering slightly, "I shall give the key to my heart to you." With that, she lifted it, cradled in both hands, up to the ceiling.
"Do with it as you wish, Lord," she added, her voice gaining courage with each syllable, "I trust you to give it to the right person when you will it."
She could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, "Well done, my bride. I am very well pleased."

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
-Psalm 34:18

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
-Psalm 27:4

Click to listen to the song "Porcelain Heart" by BarlowGirl.

What Do You Want to Do Next?

2009-08-25T15:24:00.005-05:00

That's the question I was confronted with while surfing the web today. Maybe your internet browser is like mine in that whenever you open an additional tab, a new page pops up with three different surfing options. At the top of this page, in faded blue text, is the question "What Do You Want to Do Next?" I've seen those words as many times as I've opened a new tab on the internet. Usually my answer would be something like, "I want to check my Facebook page" but today was different. Maybe it was brought on by the Focus on the Family Rebelutionary broadcast I was listening to, and maybe it was simply God. Whatever the case, my answer seemed entirely more crucial than before.
With all the "hard things" I claim to do, it's easy to get complacent and think that I've already done enough. But God would beg to differ! He has so much more in store for me...things that I could probably never even dream of doing; things that will stretch me and bring Him great glory! Complacency can't be a part of the picture if I strive to be obedient and follow as Christ leads. I should constanly be asking myself, "What do you want to do next?" Actually, to be more correct, I should be asking God, "What do you want to do next?"
What is His will for my life in the next minute, the next hour, the next day? What does He want me to do next? Apart from Him I can do nothing.

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms,
Ellie V.

When It's All Said and Done-by Robin Mark

2009-08-24T16:02:00.007-05:00

When it's all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth?
Did I live my life for you?

When it's all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I have done
For love's rewards
Will stand the test of time

Lord, your mercy is so great
That you look beyond our weakness
That you found purest gold in miry clay
Turn sinners into saints

I will always sing your praise
Here on earth and in heaven after
For you've joined me at my true home
When it's all been said and done
You're my life when life is done.

I Say...

2009-08-23T14:19:00.004-05:00

In Matthew 16:13-28, Jesus asks Simon Peter a very important question. "What about you?" he says, "Who do you say I am?" That prompted me to wonder...who do I say Jesus is?

He is my Savior, my one and only way to the Father through his sovereign grace and blood shed on the cross. (John 14:6) Who do I say he is? He is compassion. (Psalm 103:8) He is mercy. He is peace. (Isaiah 26:3) I declare Him to be love. True love. (1 John 4:10) "For greater love has no man than this that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)
He is all I'll ever need (2nd Peter 1:3) and all I ever want. He is the author and perfector of my faith. (Herews 12:2) He is my great High Priest. (Hebrews 4:14) He is my Lord. (Psalm 118:6) He is my life (Deuteronomy 30:20)...the air I breathe and the water I thirst for. (Psalm 63:1) He is my strength (Isaiah 40:29-31) and my portion. (Lamentations 3:24) He is the vine to which I cline to. (John 15:5) He is the hope to which I take hold of. (Hebrews 6:19-20) He is my shield (Psalm 18:30) and my joy. (Romans 15:13) He is my hiding place. (Psalm 32:7) He is my song (Psalm 118:14) and my shepherd. (Psalm 23:1) He is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer. (Psalm 18:2)

...Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure because He will not abadnon me to the grave nor will He let His Holy One see decay. He has made known to me the path of life and He will fill me with joy in His presence, with eternal pleasures at His right hand. (Psalm 16:9-11)

What about you, who do you say He is?
Ellie V.

Team Building

2009-08-21T21:58:00.006-05:00

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." -1 Timothy 4:8

Last night I attended a "Team Building" event with my volleyball team. For 3 hours, everyone participated in group activities and listened to a speaker talk about the mental aspects of the game. It was an encouraging night as the speaker was a Christian, and although he didn't speak from a "Spiritual" point of view, his statements were very applicable to not just volleyball, but life in general.

One activity we did involved four hula hoops set up one in each corner of the gym. At the center of the room, the speaker dumped out a large bin of wiffle balls. First we split into equal teams and gathered around our designated hoops. Then we were told to pick up one wiffle ball at a time and carry them from the center of the gym to one of the hula hoops. On "go," everybody raced to the center and began frantically transferring wiffle balls to their team's hoop. Once the supply in the middle of the gym was depleted, we were told that we could rob balls from all the other hoops, and create alliances with other teams as well. The result? Pure chaos...competition at it's best.

At the end of the game, while we were all bent over panting for breath, the speaker looked us over rather thoughtfully.
"Girls!" he cried,"I told you at the beginning of the game to get all the wiffle balls into one hoop. One hoop."
Slowly, understanding registered on each of our faces. We had wasted all that energy and time stealing balls from each other, when we should have been working to get them all in one hoop collectively as a team. The speaker had made us play the game for one specific reason. "You spend so much time competing against your teammates," he said sadly, "Instead of simply accepting your role and playing as a team."

I think that out of all his statements, that one hit home the most. When the night was over and done, I couldn't help but reflect upon another team I'm on...the church. Alot of people fail to acknowledge the competition within ministry, but you don't have to look hard to find it. How many people (including myself) get so wrapped up in trying to excell at the "best gifts," that they neglect their true Spiritual Gift/s? How many times have individuals competed against one another for the most recognition? How could things change if we "accepted our roles" and "played as a team?"

Some verses to consider:
"But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be."-1 Corinthians 12:18
"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up." -Ephesians 4:11-12

In Christ's Grace,
Ellie V.

Your Red Sea-My Take on the Life of Moses (Part 2)

2009-08-21T20:36:00.006-05:00

The Red Sea. What a pivotal moment in Moses' life. Can you picture him standing there at the edge of that great big watery expanse? What might have been running through his mind? As I read through the latter half of Exodus 13 and on through 14, a few defined principles came to mind. I like them because they not only serve as good reminders about God's character, but they are also wonderful points to recall when it comes to Doing Hard Things.

-God's way isn't necessarily easier. After the Exodus, He lead the Israelites the long way around instead of through the Philistine country, which was shorter. (Exodus 13:17-18)

As rebelutionaries, it's evident that doing hard things isn't easy. God's way isn't always the smoothest, but it is always better.

-God is always there. He guided the Israelites with a pillar of cloud during the day, and a pillar of fire by night. Isaiah 30:21 reads "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'"

Even when we feel like we're taking on a task alone, God is right beside us every step of the way. We can trust in God's faithfulness!

-God's will is right. Nothing happens that is beyond His control. He may allow or even orchestrate certain set-backs (i.e. the hardening of Pharoah's heart in 14:4) but His plan is always perfect. Furthermore, he desires himself to be glorified despite roadblocks. ("But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD." in 14:4.)

Sometimes our hard things may not work out. We need to understand that what "He opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open." (Revelation 3:7) His will is the best for us, even if we don't see that until later.

-God calls us to rely on His strength and not panic. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to determine that Moses could never part the Red Sea on his own. There, at that moment, when his role as leader was put to the test, God commanded him to lift his staff and stretch out his hand...He would do the rest.

Hard Things are kind of like the Red Sea. They can be menacing, intimidating, impossible...you name it. It's easy for us to sometimes look at the big picture and give in to fear when we see Pharoah's chariots racing after us. In those moments, we need to step back and give all our fears and abilities to God, trusting Him to move in the ways He sees fit.

So what about you? What's the Red Sea in your life? Maybe it's little in comparison to a huge body of water, but that doesn't necessarily mean it requires less trust in the Lord. Maybe your sea will require little steps...small leaps of faith, instead of one huge jump. Whatever the case, you can be sure to expect a hard journey, but one that will be full of God's strength, will, and presence.

Self-Pity...Sin in Disguise

2009-08-16T13:22:00.007-05:00

Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

I've read those verses a countless number of times in my life. Like most things, however, obeying those commands is easier said than done. After my last post I got to thinking about excuses, and what's really at the heart of them. In my case--and in most cases--it's usually self.
One of the worst forms of selfishness, I believe, is self-pity. This is an aspect that I really struggle with because it is so deceptive at times. Have you ever noticed how sneaky it is?

Self-pity crops up in vulnerable moments...times when I'm more apt to complain and feel discontent. It's also easy to justify. ("I'm just having a bad day.") Worst of all, it clouds my vision. I slip into a totally different mindset that focuses inward instead of outward. While God commands me to set my heart and mind on things above, I choose to set my sights on earthly things.

The thing that often keeps me from calling self-pity "sin" is that it isn't super obvious. It's easy for me to judge a friend of mine because her selfishness is so exposed. Really, though, I'm no different than her. The Bible commands me to humble myself and put others first. When I don't, I disobey. Disobedience is sin, no matter how obvious it is.

So what's the solution to self-pity? I don't know if I'll ever be rid of it for good, but I believe a combination of things can really help. It's important for me to remember that self-pity is first and foremost a heart issue, and therefore must be bathed in prayer. Another thing to consider is the contentment factor. When I am content with who and where I am, I'm less likely to complain and slip into self-pity. (The latter half of Philippians 4 has some great verses that talk about contentment.) Lastly, if I'm going to battle self-pity I need to battle "self." As a believer I'm called to crucify my sinful nature and live like Jesus did. This involves always looking out for other people's interests (the verse above) instead of my own.

Like I mentioned earlier, it's easier said than done, but with God anything is possible.

Just Some Food for Thought,
Ellie V.

Excuses, Excuses....My Take on the Life of Moses (Part 1)

2009-08-04T13:11:00.008-05:00

In moments of frustration, my first response is oftentimes to question God. Then again, maybe it's not "questioning" so much as it is "whining."

"God, why me? Why now?"
"I already have so much on my plate. Why would you add yet another thing?"
"Lord, look at me! I obeyed and yet I still failed! What's going on?!"

I had one of those pity-party sessions recently as I was trying to fall asleep one night. Fear lead to frustration, which then led to complaining. I was particularly stressed about a certain situation, and that--coupled with several days of missed quiet times--was enough to get me started.
"Lord, this thing you've asked of me isn't even a passion of mine! I'm not even very good at it, and every time I try, I fail or do it with the fear of failing. The church already has so many people better suited for this task. Why do you insist on using me?"

I'm so glad I'm not God. It amazes me how He can be so gentle in rebuking me in times like these. I could hear his response to my string of complaints almost as clear as day, "What about Moses?"
Moses. What about him? Instantly I thought about the chapter in the Bible that deals with the burning bush. Moses had so many excuses and complaints against God. Yet the Lord correctly Him both gently and forcefully at the same time. As if that wasn't enough, He raised him up to become one of the greatest leaders in Israel's history.
Returning to my story, I woke up the next day in a different mindset. Instead of working through my usual Bible Study in 2 Samuel, I turned to Exodus. Immediately, a couple of things jumped out at me in a way they hadn't before.

Starting with Chapter 2, I was reminded about how God's hand was evident in Moses' life early on. His life was carefully preserved...first at home, then on the river, and again with his adoption as Pharoah's grandson. The Lord was clearly protecting him in a time where little Hebrew boys were most at risk!

I began to wonder how this concept translated into my life. The way I now see it, God has been involved in my existence from the start. (Psalm 139 is good proof of this.) He was working to draw me to Himself from the beginning, and He has arranged the circumstances to bring me to where I am now. I don't need to doubt His plan or timing.

I wrote down a second observation after reading verses 11 through 15 where it talks about the Egyptian beating the Hebrew slave. The Lord had given Moses a heart that was stirred by injustice. Not only that, but his heart was prompted to act against that injustice. Now, don't get me wrong, murder was not the appropriate response to the situation Moses was in. I think murder is very rarely, if ever, an appropriate response to anything. I simply mean to point out that God gave Moses a specific quality that would be necessary for leading his people to freedom.

Moving on, then, in Chapter 3 the burning bush enters. This is one of my favorite scenes from the life of Moses, simply because it reminds me of myself. His excuses are so closely tied to mine...
#1) "Who am I that I should do this great thing?" (Verse 11...in my own words)
#2) "What if they don't believe me?" (Verse 4:1)
#3) "God, I'm not good in front of people! I am slow of speech and tongue!" (Verse 10)
#4) And finally, in verse 13, I can almost hear the fear and desperation in Moses' voice, "O Lord, send someone else!"

Again I am amazed at our God's response to each of these protests. After the first excuse, He told Moses who He was. He exposed him to the essence of I AM. Then, later on after the second protest, He showed Moses how He would empower him.

God's response to the third is my favorite. He replies, "Who gave you your mouth?" How many times has He said the same thing to me? "Ellie, who gave you your hands? Who gave you your talents? I know what I'm doing! Just trust me, dear one."

Moses' fourth excuse is probably the boldest of them all. The Bible says that because of it the Lord's anger burned against him. Yet, while He could have very well smited the man then and there, He simply told him not to worry. He would provide.

With all this in mind, one prominent thing I took away from my quiet time was the reminder that the Lord is Jehovah Jireh. He will provide for my every need (Phillipians 4: 19.) Too many times, I think this phrase only means material needs, but Jesus is not limited to just that! He has and will continue to give me the resources and abilities I need to complete the tasks He has called me to do. I'm not guaranteed an easy or problem-free ride. God himself told Moses to expect difficulties (Exodus 4:19.) However, I can embrace those problems in God's strength. He promises to never leave me nor forsake me. Who am I to complain?

In Christ,
Ellie V.

Every Life is Worthy of Life

2009-07-21T15:32:00.006-05:00

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending a Christian Music Festival about 45 minutes from where I live. Four days of my favorite music and thousands of other Christians really encouraged me. But nothing impacted me as much as the words of a speaker there.

A prominent theme throughout the festival was the ministry of Compassion International--an organization that helps people sponsor children with material (and spiritual) needs around the world. While talking about this ministry, the speaker--Bob Lenz--got on the topic of the poor and how many people consider them a burden or inferior to society. He went on to include those with mental disabilities in his examples of how cruel some can be to humanity. Then he told a story that really caught my attention. I bought a T-shirt afterwards that summed up what it was about. The front says "T4-Hitler was wrong" and on the back it reads "Every Life is Worthy of Life-Bob Lenz."

T4 was the abbreviation for an address in Tiergarten (a borough of Berlin) and the name of a program instituted by Adolf Hitler from 1939-1941. During that span of time, Action T4 oversaw the murders of 275,000 people...lives that Hitler deemed "unworthy of life." These lives included adults and children of various nationalities. Many of them were pulled from mental asylums. Many of them were pulled from their families.
For a short while, those in charge of the program got away with the killings, leaving their loved ones with no word of the victims' whereabouts. The adminstrators justified their actions with euthanasia. They claimed mercy killings were the patriotic thing to do; they freed up space, money, and energy for soldiers fighting in the war. Society would no longer be "burdened" with taking care of the now-victims.
The truth was that Hitler wanted to rid the world of those he saw as "unfit for life." His policy of racial hygiene did more than affect countless Jews and Gypsies, it exterminated those with deformities and both mental and physical disabilities.

WWII was over and done a long time ago, but the issues behind T4 still live. In America, 4,000 babies will be murdered today. How long before our nation's elderly and those with special needs are treated the same? How long before people use mercy killings as an excuse to rid society of those they call a burden?
God calls us in Proverbs 31:8-9 to speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves. Individuals with mental and physical disabilities are not disabled in every way. They are enabled to do the incredible things that God prepared for them in advance to do. They need us as their advocates, as do the poor and needy.

*It took just one messed up person to murder 275,000 lives. It can take just one humbled person to save that many and more.

"If my people, who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." ~2 Chronicles 7:14

Never forget...Every Life is Worthy of Life.

In His Hands,
Ellie V.

Are You Looking at the Beam, or Along It?

2009-07-06T17:15:00.006-05:00

Recently I've been struggling with a topic that other Christians can possibly relate to. As followers of Christ, we are instructed to boast only in Him, but I sometimes feel guilty taking pleasure in certain things of this world. I'm a girl, so I'm into clothing and hair, and I love to watch movies and use technology like cell phones and computers. I try to keep myself in check in all these areas--i.e. focusing on inner beauty and being cautious about what movies I see--and I know that it isn't necessarily sinful to enjoy these things, but I wasn't sure why. Then I read chapter 3 of Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper and got a better understanding of material things in relation to keeping Christ first. The main verse that was quoted in this particular chapter was Galatians 6:14: "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."

This Bible here makes it pretty clear that as new creations set apart from this world, Christ should be our single boast. Does that make it wrong for us to have fun dressing up or texting a friend? Can Christ still be our only boast then? Piper lays out a beautiful explaination that addresses this whole concept. He elaborates about how God can be glorified through all the blessings and aspects of our lives. To refrain from quoting everything he said, I'll just repeat an illustration he used from C.S. Lewis that I found particularily eye-opening.

These are Lewis' words: "I was standing today in the dark toolshed. The sun was shining outside and through the crack at the top of the door there came a sunbeam. From where I stood that beam of light, with the specks of dust floating in it, was the most striking thing in the place. Everything else was almost pitch-black. I was seeing the beam, not seeing things by it.
Then I moved, so that the beam fell on my eyes. Instantly the whole previous picture vanished. I saw no toolshed, and (above all) no beam. Instead I saw, framed in the irregular cranny at the top of the door, green leaves moving on the branches of a tree outside and beyond that, nintey-odd million miles away, the sun. Looking along the beam, and looking at the beam are very different experiences. ~From "Meditation in a Toolshed"

Jesus has blessed us with many wonderful things for our enjoyment, but the clincher is where we're looking. If we're looking "at the beam" in Lewis' case, we fail to acknowelge our Creator--the one who has, in fact, bestowed us with our great gifts. If we're looking "along the beam," that's quite a different story. In the latter example, our focus goes past the object of enjoyment and straight to God. In other words, we're worshipping the Creator instead of the Created.

I could go on, but I think I'll stop here. I just wanted to share this particularily insightful piece with you.

Matthew 6:21
Ellie V.

What is a "Rebelutionary?"

2009-07-05T16:10:00.004-05:00

Reb-el-u-tion-ar-y n. An individual committed to rebelling against a culture's low expectations by doing harder, more "difficult" tasks for God's glory. (First introduced in the book Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris.)

When I was a little girl, I said a prayer. I prayed a lot of prayers when I was younger, but for some reason this specific one has always stuck in my mind. I still picture myself standing exactly where I was--in my room, looking into my closet--blurting out these words, "God, I want to be a good teenager."

I'm not sure how old I was, but on that particular day I was thinking about a teen in our church that had recently landed herself in a lot of trouble. I didn't know any details of the story at the time, but I did know that what this girl had done was wrong and that it fit right into the "rebellious teenager" stereotype. I didn't want to follow in her footsteps and hurt my family like she had.

The day I turned 13 wasn't magical by any means. I don't even recall what all I did to celebrate. To me, the years ahead appeared very mysterious and unpredictable. (They still do, but Proverbs 3:5-6 continues to strengthen me.) It took awhile before I got used to the idea of growing up. My primary goal for this section of my life had changed from wanting to be a good teenager to merely surviving it. God used a wonderful book to change that whole mindset.

My parents gave me Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris for my 15th birthday. I read it in a few hours. With each page, my understanding and excitement grew. Christ hadn't called me to merely "survive" the teenage years; He wanted me to use them as a tool that would glorify Him. Instead of simply being a good Christian girl that didn't do all the indecent things associated with most teenagers, He wanted me to be known for what I did do...hard things that went over and above the expected.

With that in mind, I was prompted to think. what kinds of things did He want me to do? I already read my Bible, went to church, participated in Youth Group, and sang on the Worship Team. Wasn't that enough? Very gradually, Christ opened my eyes to the other beautiful things he had in store for me during this chapter of my existence. Through His Word I have continue to grow and mature in my relationship with Him. I've begun to look at the world and Christianity through different eyes, and He's filled me with qualities I know I could never achieve on my own.

I have by no means "arrived" and I am convinced that I won't until He returns (1 Corinthians 13:10,) but this brings me back to my blog title.

I wanted to be sure to include the word "imperfect" because I have this terrible obsession. Other firstborns will know what I am talking about when I call myself a perfectionist. My parents could see it in me early on when I would throw tantrums if things weren't just so. Today is no different, although I've graduated from tantrums to a bad attitute instead. My perfectionism is a blessing in many ways, but in others it is a curse. Oftentimes throughout the years I would fall into the trap of "being righteous" for God instead of relying on his grace. Over and over again I would get frustrated and discouraged because I could never measure up and earn my salvation. Recently I've come to closer grips with the grace of God and his boundless unconditional love. I'm not perfect, but I am saved, and what a joyous relief that is!

I don't want this blog to be about myself. I desire it to be a tool used to convey the depth of God's glory and grace. I hope my stories will serve as both an encouragment to you and a testimony of what Christ is doing in my life.

Stand Firm (Ephesians 6:13)

Ellie V.